Would you like to look like a pumpkin?

So yesterday I woke up feeling a little yucky.  Not to the point where I couldn't get out bed, just kind of off.  So on my way to run errands I stoped at the student health center, were I was informed that I had a fever and was actually sick and should go home and stay there for the next few days.I have to admitt that I laughed a little, and then went to do my errands. 

The only thing I needed to do was to find a shirt for monday.  You have to understand that I have lost some wieght.  My current clothing makes me look like I am wearing a tent, and if I staked out the edges of my shirt, I could pull my head in and be set for the night.  So I just needed a shirt that fits. 

I started out with the cheapest stores.  They had great deals!  I found many items for five dollars!  I was so happy to see the price tag!  The old lady next to me talked about how she was going to buy three, while another elderly woman complains that all the sleeves are long.  I excitedly search for a shirt, to my horror there are terrible patterns and colors!  I can't buy any of these!  A desperate plan unfolds in my mind were I am going to take all the old ladies and let them shop in my closet and then use the money to buy a new shirt.  But reality is what it is so I leave the old ladies and the old lady shirts in the store.

After running into the same issue in two other stores, I break down and go off to some higher priced stores.  One particular store is always trendy.  Sadly I am still a plus size in this store.  I have to find the lowest plus size of zero.  I take some clothes back to the dressing room.  As I walk in there is another plus size girl modleing an outfit.  The store clerk was chattering away

"Oh now that is so cute on you!  You could also get that shirt in a brown or dark blue.  It flatters your figure so well!" 

The reality was the clerk should have been saying

"Would you like to look like a pumpkin?  That shirt is more an air balloon shape, but we have it in pumpkin shape too. You remind me of a box that a refegerator comes in."

None of the clothes in plus size have any flattering shapes to them!  They are all large t-shirts made of very thin cotton.   I walked out of the store thinking deserves me right for having a love affair with chocolate and pizza. 

I then decided to head home, because the clothing stores were making my head spin even more.  I thought it was around eleven but quickly realized it was well after one.  I think the doctor was right.  I should have stayed home and been sick!